Wednesday, December 15, 2004


Today I was stuck on register at Staples again, oh the joy. At one point it had slowed down and this old lady who looked like Moses might be in her yearbook, came up to my checkout lane. As she rounded the corner to my register her purse strap caught on one of the Dorito rack pegs. She didn't realize it and kept on walking until she did that, forgot to untie to boat from the dock-thing, and stacked into the side of the Coke machine. So the lady catches herself on the side of the fridge, knocking over half a dozen of those grab-N-go dorito thingies we haven't sold since, never, and I say the first thing that comes to mind-"Eaaasy there, turbo." I don't know why I called the lady turbo. I mean, at her age the excitement from the near-spill probably killed her before she made it out of the parking lot, I dunno, I never checked. The odd part was the people in the next checkout, instead of helping bungie-purse lady, just stood there staring at me like that time I dropped that baby. I mean, shit, how can something somebody said ever be worse then the thing itself? Sometimes people get more worked up over a reaction to a situation, then the events that transpired. Like that other time my coworker was walking around a corner and banana-peeled it on a transparency someone had left on the ground. I said, "And Todd goes down..." and the guy next to me turns to me and says "That's a horrible thing to say!" No, scolding me instead of helping Todd back up, was horrible. What I said, was funny.


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