Thursday, January 27, 2005


I was waiting in the return line at Wal Mart because I had to return a coffee pot and I wanted to raise my self-esteem a little, and right next to the return counter is a row of electric scooter things for old people to ride as they shop. The thing I noticed was that the seat on every single one of them was cracked at the sides and split down the middle. If I was the GM I would print out a sign:

"Attention Wal Mart customers: In our efforts to enhance your shopping convenience we have provided EZ-Scooters for our elderly customers at no additional charge. If you wish to use a scooter, please ask the nearest associate for assistance. We would also like to mention that these scooters are not intended for use by customers that are just too fat to walk. If you do weigh in excess of your height converted to inches times ten, our gardening department would be more then happy to strap you to the front of a forklift so that you may peruse the aisles as you eat cheetos and suck lard through a garden hose. Thank you for shopping at Wal Mart and have a wonderful day."


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